It’s one of those nights
Here’s something that always bothered me: How do you know if you are settling?
This thought has crossed my mind since I was in high school, the likeliest time when hormones are on a rage and you thought you knew everything there is to know about love. Anyway, I only remembered this when I had coffee with a friend who never had a boyfriend her whole life, and she’s wondering how to say no to a guy who told her “I am an underachiever”. Somehow the conversation led to “How many red flags should you allow before kicking his no-good a$$ to the curb” to the eternal “what if I never find THE ONE.”
But going back to the original question: how do you know if you are settling? Where is the line between settling and being plain obnoxious that your notion of what love is supposed to be doesn’t measure up to reality? Does it mean that since you have very different ideas of what a night out should be that maybe it’s time to go on separate ways since that may fall under settling?
Is it your fault if your love life doesn’t end with happily ever after?
Also, is it your fault if you’re not one of the lucky few to have bumped into your designated THE ONE? To not be one of the lucky lucky few to find him/her?
What if you had laundry that needed folding that night and your designated THE ONE chose that very night to drop by your favorite Starbucks branch which you didn’t go to that night because you can no longer ignore that mountain of laundry you had to fold?
Just to be clear, I am in a relationship and I’m happy. I just wanted to vent because these standards we set ourselves can just be the very things that screw us. The questions I asked are questions that never really have concrete answers, so why should there be concrete ways to know you are settling?
Of course there are the obvious reasons: domestic abuse, laziness, selfishness, a general dislike for the occult, and so on. But what if you got on so splendidly that it doesn’t seem so splendid because there is no conflict for comparison?
Oh well, it’s one of those nights. Goodnight dear imaginary readers.
